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A HELL OF A LOT FARTHER

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Submitted Date 03/06/2019
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Private Notes

I often feel like

I’m wasting life away.

Not enjoying what I’m doing

Nor doing what I enjoy.

Its difficult to find

That perfect balance in life.

Between necessity and pleasure

Between living and dying.


 

The problems that arise in my daily life

Tend to have to do with me.

I cause them to myself

And they really only aff-fect me.

I let them control me

Ru-in me if you will

Which is why I complain my life away.

I am my own worst enemy.

 

I can rarely sleep before 2 am

But I never want to awake until like 12 pm.

My cycle’s messed up

My brain just won’t stop,

And half the time I don’t know what to do.

Get a job, do your work, do anything

But I just can’t compromise

 

I really can’t complain

As I’m not sick or destitute

I just have an over-active brain

And a lot of unsaid thoughts.

I guess I’m too antisocial

Or maybe I just don’t care

But I have to keep on working through

Or I might just go insane.

 

I attempt to create happiness

With consistency

But that's not the life I want to live

I want spontaneity

I can’t choose one thing to focus on

So I’m all over the place

One minute I’m depressed laying down in my bed

The next moment I’m planning for weeks ahead.

 

Don’t get me wrong I love having ideas

It’d just be nice to know what to do with them.

Instead of having crazy ideals

And standards too high

To the point where I just give up.

But I know this won’t last forever

I need the motivation to get through

And the passion that I once knew. *

 

I often feel like

I’m wasting life away.

Not enjoying what I’m doing

Nor doing what I enjoy.

Its difficult to find

That perfect balance in life

Between necessity and pleasure

Between living and dying.

 

What happened to music?

What happened to language?

I don’t know, do you want to do something you hate?

Why don’t you do this?

Why don’t you do that?

Your guess is as good as mine.

I guess I just have to give it time.

 

I really can’t take this anymore.

I know I can’t waste another day.

I really don’t know how to reverse

All this time I’ve spent so far

All that I know for sure is

In ten years time

In five years time

I wanna be a hell of a lot farther than I am today.

 

I’m sick of trying new schedules

I’m done toying with elaborate plans

I just want to enjoy something again

And have a life that I can better maintain.

 

And if this is the last,

Then it certainly wasn’t this.

Comments

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  • Tomas Chough 5 years, 1 month ago

    I relate so much to these lyrics! It's funny because around the same time ago I also was writing stuff like this and now I feel I've come so far as well. You never know what life can bring, that's why it's so important to not give up! Thanks for sharing Grace! Btw are you a musician?

    • ice 5 years, 1 month ago

      I used to play multiple instruments, but not so much anymore. I really would love to again though. I used to play piano and clarinet all the time and played around with guitar, accordion, and harmonica years ago.

  • David Ross Washington Jr 5 years, 1 month ago

    Its difficult to findThat perfect balance in life.Between necessity and pleasure
    This is so true. It's so hard in life to survive, and LIVE. There's things we have to do, and things we want to do, and there's so little time in our days, and sometimes it takes so much time to do the things we need to do to be able to have a life where we can survive, than the time it is to live and do what we want. Balance is something that can be very hard to achieve.

  • David Ross Washington Jr 5 years, 1 month ago

    I hope you find your place, your rhythm, your spark, your passion again.

  • No name 5 years ago

    I like how the title seems to tell the end to the story that we don't get to see. Things like this can really give insight to personal growth and I love it.

  • Miranda Fotia 5 years ago

    Great message! Very inspirational!