IMPLOSION: THIS IS NOT HOW WE WANTED THIS TO GO

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Submitted Date 08/26/2020
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Last week, while the country stared at their screens watching the Democratic National Convention, Trump traveled the country on our dime to give speeches, interviews, and even to visit a pizza joint out of the blue. Some folks speculated that all of this was an attempt to distract some feverish news consumers and to get them looking at him, rather at the DNC. Nothing, however, could have pulled attention from a convention like the bombshell-after-bombshell that was Day 1 of the Republican National Convention. If you're on Twitter like I am (shameless plug @soundbutFURIOUS), you're of two camps: those who were infuriated yesterday, and those who were ceaselessly entertained by the series of huge revelations about those in Donald Trump's circle.

First, among complaints from the president, Postmaster General Louis DeJoy was questioned by the House Oversight Commitee about intentional mail delays, the removal of collection boxes and mail sorting machines. The alarm bells are going off because of an increase in numbers of people who are turned off at the idea of voting in-person because of the Coronavirus and are trying to plan ahead for a November that is uncertain. Across the country, voters are opting for mail-in, or absentee, voting in order to avoid long lines and a challenge to social distancing.

DeJoy was rocked by questions from Rep. Katie Porter, who quizzed him on simple topics that he didn't have answers to. For one, she wanted to know who made the decision to remove the infrastructure that is in place to ensure the constitutionally-granted delivery of mail. He didn't know. She asked whether he should have an inkling--or at least a opinion about--major moves to shake up our United States Postal Service, specifically directly ahead of such an impactful election, one that could largely happen by mail. His interest in the competitors of the USPS is concerning, as well as some information that points to the Trump Administration directly driving the move to slow down the mail and to help to foster distrust in the voting system in general. The big shockers, though were that Postmaster General DeJoy could not quantify the number of voters who chose to vote by mail in previous elections; in fact, he refused to even guess at a number within 10 million voters. He laughably didn't even know the price to send a post card.

This is was just the tip of the iceberg, though, ladies and gentlemen!

Of course, there was the exposion last week when Steve Bannon was arrested after he grifted, like a grifter, millions of dollars from the GoFundMe account dedicated to raising private funds for the construction of Trump's border wall. Yesterday the House demanded documents related to the funds siphon from the DHS.

Oh, but there is more!

Jerry Falwell Jr. had a strange yo-yo moment with his father's religious institution, Liberty University. The beauty of it is how he has been a boisterous homophobic. He came under scrutiny last month, if you recall, when he posted a weird video of him and some young lady in a wig on a yacht--both with their pants unbuttoned and stomachs exposed. Yesterday he resigned, un-resigned, and officially resigned again after information was leaked about the Trump endorser's interesting...sexual forays with a twenty year old pool boy. You heard me.

Now listen. I'm a little kinky. I like to have a bit of fun, and there are also photos of me that exist that I sure do wish would disappear into antiquity. Ha. I'm not running an institution, however, that kink-shames, spreads homophobic views, and was encouraged to endorse the president because of the likelihood it would speak to a religious base. Cohen, one of Trump's former personal attorneys who has also been formally indicted for criminal activity, admitted he'd solicited Falwell to endorse the president and helped to bury naughty photos of who knows what. What we know: Falwell Jr. allegedly watched--for years--as his wife and the pool boy had various sexual encounters.

Alright, so Bannon, DeJoy, and a high-profile Trump supporter. What else could go wrong, amiright? Eh, well, the New York Attorney General dropped another bombshell. They will be suing the Trump Organization, its attorneys, and his lesser-exciting son, Eric over several things including the false-inflation of a real estate venture. Oh boy. It's no wonder Twitter was on fire because of the unarguable appearance of the Trump close-family and, well, the Gargoyle, ahem, Guilfoyle.

Why were Jr's eyes so red?

Did he look like he was coked out to you?

Was Kimberly Guilfoyle, Jr's girlfriend, flying high, too?

Was that a weird screech--SPEECH--she gave? A little North Korea-inspired?

Then there were some odd claims made by speakers of the night, including one who said that Biden would be hiding in the dark to come for unborn babies, that Democrats were not only rooting for legal marijuana, but also..."dignity in death," and then my personal favorite, that the country was absolutely in the shitter in ways it has never been before. Oh, that's not news. It's just that this moment, the moment in history we're witnessing under Trump, is what the world will look like under a Joe Biden presidency. Not only that, but the cluster that Trump has presided over is the precise reason he should be reelected...in not so many words: 'he's the only one who could have gotten us into this mess, and trust us!! He's the only one who can pull us out!"

Here I was, poking my head into the Twitter-verse over and over in both incredulity and comic relief from the state I've found my family in--kids unable to start school, thereby limiting my job prospects, ya know, the norm! When Miles Taylor came in with the final knock-out punch. He has two secret senior officials currently INSIDE Trump's administration, along with other former Trump associates and administrative professionals, who are all ready to help Trump into another job sooner rather than later. He has launched a #REPAIR initiative to get folks to feel comfortable coming forward to share their opinions about Trump's fitness for another four years (or twelve, if he has his way). In an interview with Chuck Todd this morning, he described the atrocities at a border meeting which made him file grievances and also led to the termination of his tenure as the Chief of Staff for the Department of Homeland Security.

All of this, coupled with the onslaught of current and former GOP congressmen, senators, and administrators jumping off the sinking ship and endorsing Joe Biden, has to have Trump extremely unsettled. I suppose it would be natural, then, for him and his family to be sniffing up their feelings in the form of mounds of cocaine (I ensure you that these strong assumptions are my own and not verified).

Soooooo....tonight should be fun, huh? Let Day 2 of the Republican National Convention commence!

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