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ORGAN FAILURE
Private Notes
Private Notes
Notes
digested blood
leaking into your system
…sounds awful
especially when you're trying to enjoy an apricot croissant
and silence
anastomosis doesn't sound good either
and doesn't make the coffee less bitter
but these are the conversations you overhear
while staring at the barren white walls
of a coffee shop
over the noise of the espresso machine,
grinding and steaming away
and someone pounding butter
into pastry dough
Christmas stories
casino stories
government stories
family gatherings and arguments
I'll tell you my story
if you tell me your story
and they were both rather boring stories,
let me tell you
and just like the snow falling outside
it never ends
and neither does the sound of
pounding butter
Comments
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Gotta use what's going on around you for inspiration
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The context of this poem is incredibly everyday for the gravity of the situation being discussed. Love the juxtaposition.
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Wow. This definitely puts you in the coffee stuff, at that exact moment.
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Great one. I like the tone of the everyday situation. Well described.
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but these are the conversations you overhearwhile staring at the barren white wallsof a coffee shop
Coffee shops are excellent for people watching. Great job using what is probably distracting as something productive. The opening lines are very intriguing and I also would have liked some more details about that conversation haha. -
I love the observational tone in this one. I like to observe others also, but often find myself disappointed at how shallow and boring nearly everyone I observe is. Every once in awhile I find someone to watch that has depth and it gives me hope. Great piece! The painting is beautiful too.