MAN OR WOMAN AT FIFTY, WHICH IS BEST?

So how did I become 50? I mean it was only last week I was celebrating my 40th, wasn't it. Actually I am quite pleased to be this age. Now, as I am counting down to my retirement; there is some kind of serene peacefulness that comes over me every time I think of it. Of course being a woman at fifty is different to being a man at fifty. In fact there are many differences to men and women whatever our ages.

I am not on about the usual differences, man has a penis, woman has a vagina. Oops I have written the word V.A.G.I.N.A. Do you find it's one of those words that nobody likes to say? Men definitely don't, but women, we're not keen on it either. We have loads of other names for it that we use: Minnie, Noo Noo, Downstairs, Lady Garden and Aunty Mary to name but a few. Very rarely do we use Vagina. Let's face it, we avoid saying the word Vagina more than they avoid saying the name Voldemort in Harry Potter. No the differences I am on about are the expectations that are required of you when you hit middle-age.

Men get to have a mid-life crisis at fifty. Women, we get the menopause. If a man fathers a child at fifty, he gets a pat on the back. If a woman get pregnant at fifty, well, the PC brigade tell you it's disgusting and shouldn't be allowed, that poor child when it 18, it's mothers will be nearly 70. Hello, so will the Father, but no one in the PC brigade is worried about that one.

Another difference between men and women is how you get to spend your day off. As you get older a woman will use her day off to get everything done and up-to-date: housework, washing, cleaning, ironing; she will be productive, have a list and do everything on it. A man, well, his day off is his to do with as he pleases: pub, football, golf, sleep; he will enjoy himself.

That's why a man gets to have a mid-life crisis and a woman gets the menopause. We have to suffer for our middle-age, they don't.