CONFIDENT HUMILITY

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Submitted Date 09/13/2018
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Some may view using the concept of confidence and humility in the same breath as an oxymoron. Confidence can be inspirational but can also be a turn off.  When seen in a positive perspective the term confidence provokes thoughts of self-assurance or assurance in someone else, appreciation of one’s abilities or qualities. Confidence can be engaging, it demands attention, it is seen as a contributor to success.  

 

Humility is the fine line between confidence and arrogance. Sometimes perceived as a reflection of weakness, timidness or insecurity, humility is a more relaxed sense of confidence. It can be a respectful gratitude for the strengths skills, experience, and talent others bring to the table. Often humility reflects a person who is very comfortable in their own talents and strengths but are also receptive to feedback.  It involves being accepting of the authority of others without feeling that their own authority or presence is diminished.  It is non-aggressive, it is non-resistant to advice or change, it lacks self-centeredness, it is a stranger to narcissism, and not committed to ego.  Humility allows for a self-assured yet modest view of one’s self.

 

It’s probably no surprise that women tend to lean more towards the side of humility and men tend to err on the side of confidence and often as an overused skill.  When confidence is an overused skill it can look like:

 

  • Work accomplishments, salary, and title dialogue enter conversations constantly.
  • One’s title is attempted to be used as leverage for special treatment.
  • One will make the conversation more about them and don’t attentively listen when others are talking.
  • There is a presence of narcissism.
  • One is always attempting to verbally prove themselves.
  • One doesn’t treat people equally and it varies based on gender, title, ethnicity, etc.
  • One will communicate more directives than questions asked.

 

Want to be an example of what Confident Humility looks like??

 

       Bullseye Speak respectfully but articulately.  Involve others in the conversation.

       Bullseye Listen attentively.  Repeat back to ensure understanding.  Take notes.

       Bullseye Seek others’ feedback and opinions as much or more than you rely on your own.

       Bullseye Find ways to use others’ strengths to compliment yours. Collaborate.  

       Bullseye Apologize when you are mistaken.  Mean it.

       Bullseye Let your partnerships, your execution and your results speak of your success.  

       Bullseye Replace personal bragging with recognition of others’ achievements.

       Bullseye Visibly focus more on the team than on your own personal agenda.

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  • Tomas Chough 5 years, 1 month ago

    Awesome article Keisha! We can never be humble enough. Great reminder. Thanks for sharing this advice!