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WHAT IS FOCUS?
Focus is something that is extremely difficult for me.
I seem to go through phases.
I have an interest in almost every field.
I focus on it for a few weeks or maybe just a few days.
I lose sleep learning about something new.
I obsess when I discover something new.
But then, after the initial thrill, it leaves my mind.
At least, the motivation to pursue it does.
Then, I move to something new.
Sure, its great that I "dabble" in lots of different things.
But I will never master anything.
And then a few months pass or a few years.
I feel like a failure for losing interest and motivation.
Its not that I don't want to.
My brain just is so interested in everything that I fail to focus on anything.
Yes I have a career field I am fascinated with.
I have studies that I don't deviate from.
I have a future set up.
But its my downtime I struggle most with.
If I devoted myself to a particular hobby or interest I could be 100% fulfilled.
Instead I try everything.
I'm at my happiest in life.
I'm more introspective than ever.
Yet, I still struggle with focusing.
I don't worry about it.
I know I won't change.
I know it doesn't really matter in the end.
But, here's an ode to my lack of serious productivity in my personal life.
And my never-ending struggle to actually do the things I want to.
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