PRAYING RIGHT

When I was young
I asked him for money
For new shoes
For new toys
For a day off school to play
But never anything real
It was all just material things
And the things I asked for rarely came true.

When I was fifteen
I asked him for peace
I asked him to make the boy I loved, love me
I asked him to grow up faster
I wanted to drive, to drink
Just to be an adult
Once again nothing came to me
I grew up what felt like slower
And I begun to question who I was asking.

Now I am an adult
I don't ask for shoes
I don't ask for money
And I never ask for love
I ask for a cure for cancer
I ask him to relay a message
To people no longer walking beside me
I ask him to show me where to go when I'm lost
And to glue my heart back together
When something I worked so hard for falls apart.

Many times I have yelled at him
Stared straight into the sky yelling
Screamed until I fell to my knees crying
Can you hear me? Where are you?
But this time he listens and answers
Because that is real prayer.
That is the kind of prayer that he can answer
He won't buy me material items I want
But time and time again he has shown me
That he can put my heart back together
And help me learn to walk again
Until I can do it on my own.
Even if it doesn't feel like it some days
God is listening, pray harder.