SHATTERED GLASS (CONTINUANCE OF CONCRETE AND GLASS)

Two weeks have passed since she shut out her inner desires. She had promised her mother, Dr. Petrov obedience. However, as she padded down the hallway to her studio, Ana again felt the sensation. As her feet landed on the smooth concrete floor, the light streamed from the glass ceiling above, and her fingers danced across the cold, slick concrete walls, she again felt the urge to follow her heart. Halfway down the hallway, she stopped to look outside of the small glass wall, which sat as in the middle of the concrete wall. Their house was surrounded by trees nestled in the woods. Her parents loved the privacy and seclusion. Ana felt alone, locked in a prison. She spotted a young doe who was foraging for food. The doe lifted her head, and as if she knew she was being watched, she turned her head and locked eyes with Ana. The does's soft eyes seemed to emphasize with Ana, and her longing to be free to wander. Suddenly, the doe shifted her gaze to other side and sprinted off, gracefully.

Ana froze, wishing to see the doe again. After a few minutes, she continued her stroll to her studio. As she continued her walk, she began to walk with purpose, with drive. Her feet, almost marching, making more noise as her slippers met with the concrete. Her hands, to her sides, feeling as if any moment she would jump off of a cliff, and spread her wings. As she reached the end of the hallway, she paused in front of the door to her studio, with her hand on the icy steel doorknob. To her side was another glass wall that looked outside. She turned her head, and saw her own reflection looking back. She breathed in and out, nodded to herself, turned the door knob, and walked into the studio.

Once in her studio, the bright, but soft lights turned on, making her feel welcomed. The hardwood floors beneath her feet felt soft and pliable compared to the floors in the rest of the house. The white walls, with the exception of the elongated window, facing outside, had always made her feel relaxed. And the large mirror wall, on the same side of the door, made the space feel bigger. She glided to her wooden folding chair in the corner, by the outside wall. She changed into her point shoes, first covering her toes with the wool padding. As she wounded the ribbon around her ankle, knotted it and tucked it in, adrenaline began to pump throughout her body. She continued with her second shoe, fixing the ribbon. For two weeks, she swallowed down the lump in her throat, the feeling to follow her heart. To do what she wanted, not what was demanded of her. With her point shoes ready, she reached for the remote, which was on the chair when she had entered the room. The turned on the speakers. She scrolled through her music app and hit play. Vivaldi's Autumn played, and she began to rehearse the sequence for her company. Halfway through, she felt as if she would choke, forcing herself to continue. She stopped abruptly. She ran the phone, with fervour she stopped the music. She paused, holding her phones looking at the music app. Her fingers twitched, but were hesitant. She gathered herself and searched through the app, found another song, hit play, and put the phone down. Her mother's voice echoed in her head, "What are you doing?" The voice was swallowed out by a new song. Break the Rules by Charlie XCX streamed through the speakers. With hesitance and determination, she began to move along to the beat. She kept shutting our her mother's voice in her head, and her own inner voice which told her to just listen to her mother. She kept moving, flowing. It became effortless, and easy. Ana lost herself in the moment. She felt freezing liberated. The song ended, as she landed into a split on the floor.

Catching her breath, she felt dread as she realized someone was sitting in the chair in the corner. She had been too lost in the moment to notice her mother come in. Her mother rose, as did she. She froze in terror as her mother walked towards her, with venom in her eyes. Ana saw her mother's hand reaching out to connect with Ana's face. She couldn't will herself to move, and Dr. Petrov's hand made a loud clap against Ana's face. Immediately, Ana's hand reached to cup her cheek. Tears streamed down her face, but was quickly backed by determination and anger. Neither one had said a word, but they both had been fearing what would happen next. The room began to feel cold, icy, as they stood glaring at each other, like two snakes, coiled, and ready to pounce.

Dr. Petrov was the first to break the silence. "Why? Why dont you listen and do as you're told? We spend too much money to make sure you will be someone. Not a poor, uneducated nobody. Is that what you want? To waste all of our efforts and money, to be nobody? You are a Petrov! We dont accept mediocrity." She had spat the last words out. Ana stood firm, but tears were rushing out, making her feel vulnerable and scared. She breathed in, wiped her tears, and stood straight. "This is my life. You never cared about what I want. Do you even know what happiness is? There is a whole world out there who does. And yes, some of them may be poor, uneducated people, but at least they are still happy. That's what I want!" She had rounded to the corner where the chair was while she had been talking. Her mother now stood near the open door. "You will do as your told, so you will be left with nothing. We will not tolerate this." With that, Ana had grabbed the chair, as her mother turned to walk outside. "I'd rather life my life with nothing, than to follow a life dictated by someone else." She hurled the chair, not at her mother, but towards the mirror wall. It collided, with shards of glass falling. She did not understand exactly where this courage had come from, but she felt overwhelming relief for standing up for herself. Her mother glared at her for a moment, then proceeded to walk out of the room. She felt liberated, a little anxious too, but now her world felt a lot warmer and brighter.