I'M LOST

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Submitted Date 08/31/2019
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I feel lost in life. I have no day to day purpose. At first, I thought I wanted to be a writer. Yet, I don't know if I am making much of an impact with my words. I tried my hand at painting, but each project makes me feel unqualified.


I am at my happiest when I travel, but traveling non-stop is not attainable at this point in my life. And I know that traveling is only a band aid for a deeper problem.


My soul does not know what it needs, and I have no clue how to find the purpose that will satisfy it. That realization makes me feel empty and hopeless.


How does one find what their soul's purpose is? Does it come with time? And if so, how long is it going to take before my soul knows what it desires?


I know that I cannot be the only person who feels this way. I'm sure there are millions who do not know why they are here.
But I don't want to feel lost forever. I need a flame that fuels me. Right now I don't think that I even have a spark in me, and I don't know how to process that realization.
I can feel sadness and a sense of depression trickling back into my life, and that is not something that I want or need back.


For so long, I drowned myself in the different jobs I held. There is no time to think about myself when working for a company. Now days though, I have so much free time that my mind has nothing else to do but think about how I have no purpose to fulfill.


There are times when I think that I should go and hang out with friends, but I don't have the social energy in me. My husband encourages me to paint, write, or just do something creative. But being creative is not bringing me any sense of accomplishment anymore.


To put in plainly, I have no fucking idea what to do with my life. Living with no purpose is driving me crazy, and I don't want to be that type of crazy.


For those of you who deal with an issue such as this, how do you find passion in your life?

 

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  • Rick Doble 1 month, 1 week ago

    Why not be a travel writer? At least give it a try. It combines your two main interests.

  • Ashley Aker 1 month, 1 week ago

    Hi, I relate to you. I have struggled in the past. I have felt useless. I think because you have time to think right now, use it. I read you enjoy traveling? Besides seeing a new place, what do you do when you travel? Do you eat? Sight-see? Hike? How much have you explored your own little town or big city? Your words always impact. Success isn't a physical thing. If you feel happy when you do it, that is —success. Even if you don't make money from it now, maybe someday you will. Making time for the things that bring happiness to you are always worth it. Life gets in the way, I understand but don't let it swallow you whole. When I feel lost, I take some time for myself to think. Walking, a bath, sitting in the grass, wherever you feel relaxed. I journal. I write ideas down and focus on the goals that I have. What can I do to be better? I make a To-Do list. Once I have my goals, I break them down into feasible chunks and I add them to my list. Those small steps I take each day or week can change my whole perspective. I wrote a ton, I just read your post out loud this morning, and I heard a piece of myself. You deserve more, and you are capable of more. If you haven't taken time to reconnect with yourself you need to. Thanks for posting, and I look forward to reading more from you.

    • Ellen Gibson 1 month, 1 week ago

      Ashley, thank you so much for these words. I have found myself going into a dark place in my head, but this inspires me. Dealing with mental, spiritual, and physical health lately has been weighing heavy on me and I've been letting it drag me down. You are so right in that I need to find just little things to bring joy into my life. It's funny because I tell others who are having a rough time to do just that. But I suppose it's easier to give advice to others than follow that same advice yourself. So I really appreciate you taking the time to comment on this. Your kindness was very much needed. Thank you. <3

    • Ashley Aker 1 month, 1 week ago

      It's easy to see the problem when you are outside of the problem. When we are hindering our own growth it's harder to manage. :) you're welcome