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ANOTHER DEAR JOHN
Should I start with I'm sorry?
Maybe a pause as I search for better words?
You look into my eyes and
In the silence of my thoughts
You hear the roar of your pain.
Without a word said your heart is breaking
And my mouth is dry,
I'm choking on goodbye, it feels like death.
I close my eyes against the melting sun
So I don't see the tear drop
Onto your perfectly polished toe.
"it's not you", I begin.
It comes out harshly
As death is hard to swallow.
I try again to tell you how
I'll cherish our memories
But fail as it sounds fake and insincere.
Finally, it comes to just four words.
Three of which I wish I'd never said,
But I did.
To take them away is unfair.
To let them remain is.... Well, worse.
I ever so softly say "I don't love you"
And wait in silence as the night air
Cools my burning skin.
Opening my eyes to look at you,
I see the tears
in your beautiful green eyes
Your fingers dance along
The bark of our oak tree,
You lean against it and
With the tiniest shrug
You tilt your head sideways,
And for a moment I doubt my own words.
Then you say,
"I don't love you either, my heart isn't yours to break."
Touching your fingers to my lips
You smile, then turn and walk away.
Staring after you in silence
I think, maybe, I love you.
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