WHAT IS ABUSE?

What is abuse?

In our society, most of us tend to only recognize abuse as being purely physical. But many of us fail to understand and realize, that abuse is also verbal, emotional, and mental. Yeah, nowadays it is a bit more understood that abuse comes in many different forms, but it’s not understood, commonly enough.

Let me tell you from my experience, in my close circle of family and friends, abuse runs heavy, verbal, emotional, and mental. Abuse is being picked on verbally, by a single or multiple individuals, and the moment you choose to speak up, using your God-given voice, you’re confronted and questioned, “why did you do that?”, “I wish you didn’t do that.” When someone attacks your character, making implications that are demeaning to your true self-worth, if these things put you in a negative emotional and mental state, that’s abuse. If this isn’t a conversation agreed upon by both parties, it isn’t warranted and it is abuse. If the comment came left field, off subject, it’s abuse. No matter how calm their tone is, or how simple the text message is that you received, don’t discredit what you are receiving as abuse.

Abuse is belittling a person, making them feel insignificant and/or unequal, as if they are not welcomed to the same rights and liberties as other human beings. When that person is not okay with people making offensive remarks about them, which caused them defend themselves, but disapprove of you doing the same for yourself, it’s abuse. They are basically putting their hands over your mouth and telling you, “shut up” and take it. Standing up for yourself is loving yourself, respecting yourself, it’s all a part of self-love.

Defending yourself physically, is self-defense, and so it should be the same for verbal attacks. Defending yourself against an aggressor (the initiator) is never wrong, it’s protecting your energy and peace.

Abuse may not always come off as upfront or forceful. Abuse can be a suggestion. Abuse can be the individual knowing that you love them deeply, asking and suggesting you to do something, knowing that it will not benefit you, but also knowing that you love them enough that you’ll struggle with the answer, but eventually come to a “yes,” because you love so deeply that even if it’ll be an olympic marathon of walking across a needle ridden pit of hell, you can’t blur out their vision on the other side, to be compelled to continue the walk anyway. Abuse often happens to us empaths, that take on all the energies and emotions around us, take them on as our own and often intensifies as a struggle inside.

Abuse is holding someone mentally against their will. Abuse is all the Nos, when there should be yes. Abuse is that moment when you muster up the will to say, “I think,” and the response is, “you can’t.” Abuse is the Boss, but never the friend. Abuse is the drill sergeant, but never the life coaching motivator. Abuse is the team member, but never the teammate.

Abuse is when someone tries to leave a situation because they know it’s not good for them, and it’s draining them, you try to snatch their world from out of the clouds they’ve been afloat to seek refuge in the conscious place in their mind every time you shoot them down. That moment, you spring that, “if, then,” ultimatum that will have them rethinking their whole life. It’s that earthquake that just when you think it’s over and you’ve made it out alive, here comes the aftermath Tsunami. Abuse is painting that mural of your dreams or your opportunity for better, that sense of community, the village it takes to raise a child, then knowing it’s just fluff of smokes, and mirrors, you leave them to suffocate amist blurred vision to see an opening for breath. Abuse is those expectations that they’ll never live up to than the support that nurtures a sight photogenically blossomed from a place forgotten to dead-end, opening the fork in the road for a path, yellow-bricked to a place they can click their heels to call home. Abuse, it’s the place where there’s always an I in team, because it’s always about you, but seldom about me (tEaM).