Submitted Date 02/04/2019

Oh, how thee annoys me, let me count the ways:


The way you snore in my ears

(and let’s not forget the pops, the wheezes, and other sleep-shattering noises)


The way you walk on your heels

“No, that’s not an elephant stomping on the house; it’s my husband walking upstairs”


The way you procrastinate, forcing me to remind you 50 times

(I do realize it’s passive-resistance, but why don’t you just say no?)


The way you don’t listen when I speak

(or worse, when you somehow hear the opposite of what I say)


The way you keep letting the cats in the bathroom, knowing full well one eats my toothbrush

(and only mine… did you train him somehow?)


The way you “apologize”

“I’m sorry the horrible thing I have just done bothers you”


The way you go to the market for capers, and come back with peppercorn

(or the wrong kind of coffee/spice/etc… it never fails)


The way you unerringly choose the sorest spot of my anatomy to caress

(like how you just now kissed that bump on my forehead)


The way you can break a fragile heirloom just by looking it

or stain my pristine white tablecloth before even sitting down (how in the world?)


The way you never remember how to fill the dishwasher

(The emptying isn’t stellar either: no, fish forks don’t look the same as dessert forks!)


The way you stubbornly refuse to do everything MY way

(Or conveniently “forget” what my way is)




And yet, and yet… There’s also:


That sheepish grin when you’ve done something mind-bogglingly stupid/clumsy


How you look at me as if I have NOT gained 20 pounds and a dozen wrinkles


That you binge-watch Buffy with me when I need a fix


That you come outside with me so I don’t have to smoke my cigarette alone, even when it’s cold


How we can still talk and argue and laugh all evening long


How supportive you are of my writing and inordinately proud of even my most modest accomplishments


That you still tell people how we started dating and got engaged with a twinkle in your eyes


How you stay on the sunny side when we play tennis


How you come in the bedroom every morning to kiss me good day – so softly you barely wake me


How when we hug I feel that your favorite place in the world is in my arms


That you love me despite the fact that I wrote this, that you love everyone and everything I love (or at least pretend to), that you love me unselfishly and unreservedly


You are my best friend and I love you

My Happily Ever After might not be perfect, but I wouldn’t trade it for any other

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  • Tanya Marion 2 years, 4 months ago

    This gave me a chuckle, especially the part about the cat and your toothbrush, lol. Marriage is such a love hate relationship, isn’t it. My husband and I have been happily and lovingly driving each other crazy for years, so I can totally relate 😊 Thanks for sharing!

    • Gabriele Russo 2 years, 4 months ago

      Thank for liking, glad you enjoyed it ;)

  • Mary Jaimes-Serrano 2 years, 4 months ago

    Oh my, how this touched home. I can relate to this from so many levels. Having been married for over 10 years now, there are so many things that are bothersome and at the same time so many wonderful things that make the perfect balance to each other. Wonderful piece. Have a marvelous week.

  • Regina M Basile 2 years, 4 months ago

    I loved this, I've been with my husband for 14 years and this reminded me of us in so many ways. I love how so many different parts are so relatable. Great writing😉

  • Tomas Chough 2 years, 3 months ago

    Reminds me of so many situations I've seen my parents in, lol. Thanks for sharing Gabriele!

  • Rick Doble 2 years, 3 months ago

    “I’m sorry the horrible thing I have just done bothers you”
    This is a typical marriage ruse. It sounds like an apology but isn't. He is not apologizing for the horrible thing, he is sorry that it bothered you.

  • Ceara 2 years, 2 months ago

    OMG this was wonderful. Marriage is so complex but this boils it down in such a humorous and meaningful way.