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AFFLICTION
Private Notes
Private Notes
Notes
the sound of the door
cracking open after a blow
is the sound of her heart
splitting apart
because she knows
this is a cold war
he's going to win.
he's got his guns
locked on her,
it's no sin
he says
to say he's right
because in his light
there's no fight.
she's just a bitch,
dumb little witch,
who can't shut up
and who whines
and winds
him taut;
that's why they fought.
it's her fault he snaps
and traps the scraps
of what she has left.
this is a theft,
it's not what she thought,
every word is a shot
that she feels she bought,
and every tangle
is a new angle
in which he ties the knot
around her wrists,
with the promise of a kiss.
he holds her close
this is what she chose
it's all she knows
he won't let go
and she wouldn't want him to.
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WOW. All I can say is wow. That was intense.
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I'm going to say the same as Carrie, that was very intense! I love the poems you share here, they are just raw and real. Thanks for sharing.
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Agreed, there is a lot of emotion, pain, and struggling here. While I appreciate the rhyming, it does not quite flow at points. Perhaps consider using a specific rhyming structure rather than wherever the fit, just to keep it consistent. This is a powerful poem, thank you for sharing!
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It's mainly meant to be spoken word, so read aloud it flows a bit better. Thanks!
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there's no fight. she's just a bitch, dumb little witch, who can't shut up and who whines and winds him taut; that's why they fought. it's her fault he snaps
This definitely describes the essence of domestic violence. -
he holds her close this is what she chose
This reminds me of the manipulation in domestic abuse. Making the victim feel like it's their fault, but the aggressor is obviously the one who has initiated and carried on the abuse.-
Exactly what's happening in the poem!
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Speechless. I can feel the emotion in it. I think this perfectly describes an abusive relationship. Great work!
Thank you!