ABIGAIL LIKES MY INSTAGRAM

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Submitted Date 02/02/2019
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Abigail Carroll likes my Instagram posts.

Actually, abra.ca.dabra.ca likes my posts.

 

Abigail Carroll is reported to be abra.ca.dabra.ca.

I don’t know any abra.ca.dabra.ca or any Abigail Carroll.

 

The power of the Alphabet Corporation doesn’t know the Abigail Carroll who likes my posts.

The only Abigail Carroll I can find is a nice lady in Maine.

 

The Maine Abigail looks like a nice person but not the nubile blonde on Instagram.

Maine Abigail appears to be an author who also goes by the name, “Oyster Lady.”

 

Two other Abigail Carrolls are not interested in me, either.

The writer in Vermont or the Realtor in California.

 

I begin to wonder if Instagram Abigail Carroll is actually a troll sitting in a “shit hole” country?

 

Maybe Abigail is tied to I.Am.Tony.Savage who also likes my Instagram posts?

Tony appears to be real, but I am not sure why a rapper likes my photos of snow dusting the Texas landscape.

 

Elena Mali 04 didn’t comment on my snow postings.

She has liked my other postings.

 

Elena appears to be a well-traveled young lady.

Her posts are in Cyrillic when you click on them.

Another Troll?

 

Janet Shinda must have not seen my Instagram posts.

She has asked to be LinkedIn, this morning.

 

Janet is a “Business Administrator” who teaches at the Ohio Medical Career Center while living in the Baltimore Maryland area.

 

Why would Ms. Shinda want to be LinkedIn with me?

Maybe she has heard about my wise Medicare Supplement choices?

 

Maybe all of the young beautiful ladies know I take good care of myself by taking a Low Dosage Aspirin every day?

 

Janet Shinda only exists on LinkedIn.

She is either a casier (French for locker) or a “Business Administrator” who commutes between Baltimore and Ohio to teach phlebotomy.

 

Where are the real people in our lives?

 

I don’t know any Nigerian Princes or Princesses.

 

My family and I frequently hover over our phones.

Damn you, Solitaire!

 

I love looking at pictures of my grandson on the Internet.

Yet, he is with me five or six days of the week.

 

My weekly usage report has just come out.

I am up 25% in screen time when it had been going down.

Damn you, Solitaire!

 

I pledge not to worry about Abigail or even Elena Mali 04 – wherever you are.

 

I will, instead, look into the eyes of my beloved wife of over 40 years.

I know she loves me.

She cares enough to write my name on my low dosage aspirin bottle and makes great turkey sandwiches.

That’s more than I can say about Abigail Carroll.

Comments

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  • James D. 2 weeks, 1 day ago

    Damn you, Solitaire!
    The second one got me. Great comedic timing! Fun read.

    • James D. Lierow Jr. 2 weeks ago

      Thanks! It was fun to write. The challenge was to say something that wasn’t a sermon.

  • David Ross Washington Jr 6 days, 21 hours ago

    This is so dope. I love how introspective, and realistic this is. It's like a Diary piece, first person, but also breaking the fourth wall at the end.

  • Mary Jaimes-Serrano 4 days, 21 hours ago

    Oh, James, you have hit the nail precisely where I have been looking for over a month. This is perfect. I think many of us can relate to the words you have so aptly written. I have come to the conclusion that I need all of these likes, but will not concern myself with who they are. Thank you for sharing this. It is nice to know I am not the only one who thinks like this.