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THE HOUSEWIFE
Private Notes
Private Notes
Notes
"I grew up poor you know."
"Ok." I say.
"Waste not, want not," she says while writing a check for $600.
"Do you know what that means?" she asks me from her own world.
"I was taught to reuse scotch tape," I take the check.
She smiles, "that's one way to look at it." She picks up the dog collar and guilds him in his own leash
She tugs at her pearls, sliding down her chest into a choker.
"So how were the children this week?"
"They were miscreants," I say.
She smiles, flattered. She's sure I said something nice.
"So I took them to their father's house because it's his night," I try.
She falters,
"They're not here?"
"No."
She stares at a diamond dragging her arm down to the floor.
Simian-like.
"I'll go," I say. She makes me uncomfortable.
I look up to even emptier space
And realize she has already gone.
Her husband will find her chained in the yard
She let herself out today
How clever.
Give her a treat, why don't you?
Comments
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This piece has a strong foundation. I think that adding more imagery and clarifying some things could make the message even stronger! I really like the metaphor of a being a pet.
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Great metaphor. I like how you tell a story and give a message at the same time. Very creative Zoe!
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Thank you Thomas!
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This lady sounds spoiled rotten and completely sheltered. I can see why you were inspired to write about her. Great poem!
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Thank you!
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Oh, ouch haha. You really captured the feeling without even going too deep into the story. Well written!
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Thank you Kiersten!
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Thanks for the feedback, might circle back on this one!