GRANDMA'S HOUSE

Powerless

I forged through

the shame

that swallowed me whole

that rendered me insignificant

that permeated through the stale air

so thick

I felt like I couldn't breathe

The walls

Nicotine-stained

Like her

Carcinogenic

Yellowed

from years spent enveloped

in a cloud of self-loathing and disempowerment

The floors

rickety

from the panicked pacing

plotting pathways

to the next drink

All memories of her

tainted

with the old familiar smell

of vodka, tonic water and lime.