LOST

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Submitted Date 05/20/2019
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My heart is melting without you. The droplets fall on the floor and create a puddle of sadness. Swirls of tears form a hurricane within and destroy all goodness in its path. As thunder roars in my sky of anguish, a photo of you flashes before my eyes. We were dancing on moonbeams and bathing in crystals. Yet the hours have been taken and will not be returned. My being yearns for you.


Betrayal is my closest friend and best enemy. We revel in one another's company and fight ourselves with a passion unmatched. Pain has become my lover.


Head underwater and soul in the grave, I weep at the memories of you. Senses, once alive, are now muted in my ears as I writhe under the thoughts of you. The howls from my core have since turned to hollow sentiments.


I once had grabbed onto the branches of passing trees as gravity lost me. Angels pulled me upwards as I fought to touch the ground once more. I heard their wings straining as I kicked to be released. And then I hit the earth and despair overwhelmed me. It is sorrowful to be overcome with the consequences of battle.


When I was first yours, I lost myself in who I might become. And when I turned into a secondary you, my identity was no more. I no longer know if my pleasures are my own or a making of what you needed. The touch of my skin seems foreign to me, and I cannot stand the sound of my own voice.


I am lost and cannot find myself. It hurts to know that I was not what you wanted for a lifetime. I heard the crack of myself falling to pieces on the floor when the waves of goodbye reached my ears.


The hands of the clock are frozen at the moment I died. Or is it you that is gone, and I am now once more alive?


................................................................................................................................................


Frozen memories locked in the bathroom sink are who you have become. Muted sounds reach cold ears and heavy lungs. Your sins have reached you through the tunnel that was dug to your heart.


When all memories of you have passed, they will revel in the desires you once had. You bore yourself with a dignity that was not yours, and it was you that grabbed the shovel to dig your own grave. Perhaps, if you had planted daisies instead, your soul would not have left.


You laughed at your own tears and grew dark inside. If you had let the rain in, the moon would have shown even brighter. But you said goodbye and left without regret. Only drowning could have saved your soul from the depths of your pain.


You shoved aside all you needed and rejected the love of yourself. Instead, you stood tall in pride at the thought of your demise. Why is it that sorrow makes you happy? Come back to us if you find yourself in those ocean waves. Do not let them drag you to the floor never to return.


Drums beat in circles and the sound swirls on the wind. Can you hear their calls or are you deaf to all but your own desires? If you had not plucked out your eyes, you would see the grass sway when you walked by. The trees shed tears from their branches and the clouds rain up above.


But this place isn't made for you, so you leave to create your own world. You must become your own god for you to realize how lonely it will be.
 

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