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THE HOT BED
Private Notes
Private Notes
Notes
I am tidying up the hot bed
Laying moon’s quilt over our bodies’ sodden imprint
Lamenting, I shove the wayward bed back against the wall
Fluffing the pillows into shape, properly square.
Laying moon’s quilt over our bodies’ sodden imprint
Eddies of your smell, rush joyful, swirling
Fluffing the pillows into shape, properly square
Drifting, I run aground in my work clothes.
Eddies of your smell, rush joyful, dancing
Sharp tang of man, sea musk, sex-salted
Drifting, I run aground in my work clothes
The siren’s call – whiffs of last night’s desire.
Sharp tang of man, sea musk, sex-salted
I am tidying up the hot bed
The siren’s call – whiffs of last night’s desire
Stoic, I shove the wayward bed tighter against the wall.
Comments
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You’ve turned the mundane act of making a bed into something sensual and passionate. Well done! Raw emotion, tastefully written. Love it!! Great title choice, too.
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Very creative Trudi! I don't think I've ever read something like this. Pretty interesting!
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Thanks - when I first started writing poetry, I was told I sounded like an adolescent girl with a pink pen. Ugh. So I wrote this using a very specific form and that helped with the girlish voice.
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Very nicely done! I love the scent of a (clean) man on the sheets.
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Yes - there is something enticing about the scent but also sad as the world becomes odor-neutral.
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There is something evocative about a place or object where things have happened but now is just a place or object with memories. You have captured that quite well. "Laying moon’s quilt over our bodies’ sodden imprint"
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What a lovely thing to say! Making the bed is one of the most blushing of activities ...
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Thank you. It's always a little weird feeling to put something out that is erotic in nature but I do believe literature can ask the reader to explore a daily activity.