TURNS OUT JUSTIN LANG IS JUST A REGULAR FELLA

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Submitted Date 01/13/2021
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Justin Lang of Mantorville was booked last night for First Degree murder following an attack at 12:35 AM on the North Side shore of Silver Lake.

According to Rochester Police Detective Greg Fuchs, Lang stalked and then attacked Jean Marvin of Rochester.

"The attack was calculating and brutal." Detective Fuchs described the site of the murder. "Lang waited for Ms. Marvin in a tree and then leaped down upon her, immobilizing her quickly. He then sank his teeth into her neck and ripped the jugular from her throat. Never seen anything like this before."

Twenty-eight-year vet of the coroner's office, Sherry Vaught, confirmed the time and manner of death. "It was clear he used his mouth as there were several puncture wounds on the right side of her neck, two of them sharp and penetrating, like the perpetrator actually had fangs."

Vaught's further examination revealed a twisting motion used by Lang. "It was also clear that when he bit, he wasn't just attempting to pierce the skin. The skin and jugular were twisted and ripped from the neck. The blood discharge had to have been spectacular, as there was blood spatter from Ms. Marvin's head to feet. The violence was both prodigious and incredible."

Lang confessed to the brutal murder early in Detective Fuchs's interrogation. "He admitted it right away, from the choosing of the victim, the stalking, and to his fascination with vampirism. He claimed that he thought he was a vampire and that he needed human blood to survive. Now he's going to rot in jail for his crime."

Lang was available for brief comment after booking. In cuffs and black attire, a cape with a red sash, his hair pulled back, face painted a pasty white, and with dagger-like pointed teeth, he spoke through blood-stained lips. "Yes, I did it. I really thought I was a vampire. Turns out I'm not. Egg is on my face for sure. The taste of blood is revolting, like really gross. I got sick afterward and vomited in a goose nest along the shore of Silver Lake."

Lang removed his cape and dejectedly tossed it in the trash, clearly disgusted with himself. "Those movies I watched. They're a bunch of sh*t if you ask me. I'm clearly not a vampire."

Detective Fuchs laid out the charges from First Degree Murder, Assault, and even Destruction of Public Property as city workers will need to clean the goose nest. "Yeah. This guy's going away for a long time. He's where he should be."

Marvin's family commented on her passing onTwitter.

I've never told a truth in my life.  And OJ Simpson is a killer.

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